The Announcement

I have decided, after countless hours deliberating, discussing and researching, that I will leave grad school for a "real" job. I applied for and accepted a position at a company in the Bay Area that does some pretty cool work. The job will be technical but also interdisciplinary and (hopefully!) interesting.

Why ditch grad school?

I gradually came to the conclusion that I don't fit into the academic mold. I realize that academics come in all shapes and sizes, but I can't imagine spending the rest of my life studying galaxies or cosmology. Part of the reasoning here is that I need some ties to the "real world". I also dislike the pure research atmosphere and crave a little more structure. I want some semblance of job stability and an ability to put down roots. Please understand: it is amazing stuff that needs to be worked out, but I feel that my future does not lie here. Given my distaste for continuing research work after grad school, I started to seriously consider the point of finishing grad school itself. I don't need the Ph.D. to feel good about myself.

A parallel self-conversation concerned the fact that I never really enjoyed grad school. I understand that this is not exactly a unique or meaningful statement. I knew going into grad school that it would suck on some level. Nevertheless, there should be a few moments of accomplishment and excitement sprinkled into it. I accomplished a few things, yes. But the excitement never surfaced. My motivation for conducting research was never the subject itself or a thirst for understanding. I did the work because my advisor would be upset if I didn't. This force alone does not a good researcher make.

At this point, you might wonder why I hadn't switched my path much sooner. The answer: I never questioned why I was following the path I was on. In high school, I enjoyed and excelled in physics. I hesitatingly decided to major in it in college. I did surprisingly well in college and found myself a senior with many physics courses under my belt. What then? Grad school, of course! I ended up at Berkeley as a grad student, did the coursework, and started working with a professor right away. I never felt like I fully engaged in research even after co-writing a paper and going to some conferences. The point of all this is that I never truly examined what I wanted to do or where I wanted to be. I "followed my nose", taking the well-worn path that everyone around me expected me to take. Well, it might be a little late, but I'm examining my options now.

At the end of last summer (August 2006), my dislike of academia and grad school reached a crisis level. I was no longer interested in furthering the project I was working on or any other project in astrophysics. I decided to jump outside the "grad school track" and see if some other track was more appealing in both the short- and long-term. If I jumped out and realized that I needed to be back in physics, then I could go back. It would be an uphill battle, but I would at least know that I wanted to do it.

A Ph.D. in physics is an impressive thing, but how necessary is it? What doors does it open that are closed otherwise? Aside from academic jobs, the doctorate makes consideration for quantitative financial jobs much easier. I applied for and interviewed for a few of these types of positions, but it was a very half-hearted pursuit because I never felt great about this field. My degree in astrophysics wouldn't place me in a position to go into an industry like semiconductor or biotech. So that path is out. What's left? Consulting is a possibility, and I pursued it. I also tried to talk to people who did things in software and modeling. The latter field eventually yielded some fruit.

So we'll see what happens. The company that hired me is bringing me on for what is technically an internship, but it's really an exploratory session to see what interests me and how I can best fit into their organization. I'll have an opportunity to perform commercially-minded research as well as some financial analysis and consulting. This is really the best possible situation because it allows me the chance to explore all the fields that I have been considering. At the end of the summer, I hope to have a permanent position doing something that fits me.