Godless Money

I recently heard of a US Mint mistake that smacks of sweet, drippy irony. First, some backstory: The Mint is making dollar coins with president heads on them. Apparently, this is because the Mint wants more coins to be taken out of circulation by amateur collectors who think they're going to be rich after 20 years because no other everyday shmoes are going to do that, too. I was mildly aware of this because I run in numismatic circles, mildly numismatic circles, that is.

The news is this: a recent batch of these coins is missing "E Plurbis Unum", "In God We Trust", the year, and the Mint location (see this AP article). Hence, they are "Godless" coins. They're also "Latinless", "timeless", and "homeless", but Godlessness sells more newspapers, apparently.

I bet this is great fodder for our atheist bloggers (hi, Sean Carroll) who will probably try to use the Godless coins exclusively. I bet Michael Newdow (wikipedia) is going to be hoarding them, too.

I propose that this "mistake" was purposeful. The Bush administration, being much more "Biblical" than previous administrations, wants a lasting nod to Christianity. After all, Paul wrote in an epistle that "the love of money is the root of all evil" (1 Timothy 6:10). You shouldn't sully God's name by putting it on actual currency. If they're going to be money-grubbing Republicans, they might as well acknowledge that loving money is a bad thing.

I think I have a good compromise scheme. According to John Hodgman, national treasure and Bullshit Laureate of the United States, Jefferson, Van Buren, Garfield, Teddy Roosevelt, FDR, Nixon, Bush I, and Bush II all had/have hooks for hands. Their coins should have sharp hooks all the way around the coin, bloodying the hand of any who dares spend it. I think God wouldn't mind putting his name to that kind of money. It would be pretty difficult to love.