Zombies and Me. Part 1: The Definition

Read the following sentence carefully: I love the idea of zombies, but I don't love zombies. I'm not a proponent of zombie hugs or giving zombies the right to vote. I don't want to become a zombie who feasts on my loved ones. I prefer not to participate in a massive society-crushing zombie outbreak. But I love the idea of zombies.

I better be clear about what I mean by "zombie". This is my definition: "a human body in which higher brain functions are dead or nearly dead. The body is malevolent in nature and will stop at nothing to eat human flesh or attack humans." The body may or may not be dead in a medical sense. I'm not picky about how it became a zombie. There's an idea in voodoo lore that witch doctors can control another human by taking his/her soul. This is more of a trance, and the subject is, in essence, controllable. The zombie ideal is uncontrollable, an impersonal force of nature. This modern notion was invented by George A. Romero in Night of the Living Dead.

There's a lot of stuff out there in movies and books that discusses zombies. To be even more clear, I think I need to list the zombie movies and books that follow my favorite conception of zombies. Purists, be forewarned: I'm going to throw in a few that are questionable, and I will leave a few out (and with good reason: they suck!). Note that this also functions as a great summer movie list. In the posts that are to come, I will be drawing my material from these films and books.

• The Romero Sequence
  
1. Night of the Living Dead (1968) -- a mixed group tries to survive the night in a farmhouse beseiged by zombies.
   
2. Dawn of the Dead (1978) -- In the midst of a widespread attack, society is crumbling and a few try to escape via helicopter. They land on the roof of a mall and try to eke out a living. Their perfect world crashes down when a marauding motorcycle gang tries to take over.
   
3. Day of the Dead (1985) -- A look at how the military (mis)handles the zombie threat. They attempt to train the zombies as instruments of warfare...to disastrous effect.
   
4. Land of the Dead (2005) -- An oasis of humanity in which those with money and power live in luxury while others live in squalor. Don't worry: the "haves" get their comeuppance, and the "have-nots" are able to move on.
   
5. Diary of the Dead (Early 2007!) -- An indie that's set for release early this year. It apparently follows some student filmmakers in the woods as they encounter zombies. I've heard that it's set at the same time as the original Night of the Living Dead. I'm so excited!
   
• Remakes from the Romero Sequence
• Night of the Living Dead (1990, 2006)
• Dawn of the Dead (2004) -- a modern re-vamping of the shopping mall setting for a zombie attack. It's campy and goes for the laughs as much as it goes for gross-outs. Nevertheless, it has some great views of society's collapse as seen through the eyes of those trapped in the mall.
• Day of the Dead (April 2007!) -- Here's the trailer. Starring Ving Rhames and Mena Suvari.
  
• Other films
• 28 Days Later (2002) by Danny Boyle.
• 28 Weeks Later (May 2007!). The US of A swoops in to rebuild Britain after the zombies die out. It looks like a few might be left...
  
• Resident Evil + sequels (2002). I'm not a fan. It's too videogame-ish with only passing reference to the world outside the small group.
  
• Shaun of the Dead (2004) by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright. THE BEST comedy based on zombies. I initially expected a Wayans Brothers-style spoof movie. I was totally wrong. This movie is flat out amazing, even for those who don't like zombie movies.
  
• Zombi II (1979) by Lucio Fulci. This Italian-made movie isn't all that great, but it has a scene where a topless female scuba diver encounters an underwater zombie. Then a shark comes along, and the zombie fights (and bites!) the shark. The most sublime scene in film history.
  
• Films that are a bit outside of the Romero-style zombie flick
  
• Dead Alive (1993) by Peter Jackson. A monkey from Sumatra or something bites an older woman who succumbs and reanimates as a pseudo-zombie. In life, she was a well-off widow who tortured her adult son. The son tries to keep his mother's zombie body under wraps with hilarious and gory consequences. Oh yeah. And a minister joins the fight against zombies and says, "I kick arse...for the Lord!!" This is considered one of the goriest movies of all time.
  
• Slither (2006) by James Gunn. Fun, horror-comedy film that is zombie-ish. Worm creatures from outer space land in remote Oregon and screw with a small town. Some people are turned into mindless slaves under worm control.
  
• The Omega Man (1971) with Charlton Heston. Bio-warfare leads to most people dying in LA, but some turn into zombie-like freaks who wear sunglasses and black cloaks. They don't particularly like the only immune man in the world. Maybe because he drives a stolen convertible around town?
  
• Re-Animator (1985). A med student figures out a way to revive corpses, but they have a funny habit of going on killing sprees.
• Zombie Honeymoon (2004). A zombie romantic comedy.
  
• Books that follow the Romero zombie ideal
• The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. In a faux-serious book that never cracks a smile, Mr. Brooks enlightens the reader on how to fight zombies. Pay special attention to underwater zombie combat.
  
• World War Z by Max Brooks. Great recent book that reveals how mankind dealt with a massive zombie infestation. Written as a series of interviews, it gradually reveals how we fought back and how Cuba became the biggest superpower on Earth.
  
• Monster Island, Monster Nation, and Monster Planet by David Wellington. I haven't read them, but they detail the spread of zombism across the US and involve Somali kids recovering AIDS medicine from an infested Manhattan for some reason.