Bradvice part 6: Urine for a Treat

A reader has sent a particularly pressing Bradvice request. Let's see if I can help him/her/it:

Dear Mr. Bradvice,
I'm at work and wet myself again. Yes, I keep emergency underwear on-hand at all times and YES, I've followed all of Dr. Merton's Public Urination Rules meticulously: 1. Be in public 2. Urinate. However, even after all of this careful planning and foresight, I find myself holding an important document, now soaked in urine, without any clue as to how it got in my hands or how to take care of my yellow mess. Please advise immediately, this document must be given to my supervisor ASAP.
Amateurinator

Dear Amateurinator,
Ah...to be young and incontinent again. It's a great time in all our lives. Things seem so important and earth-shattering. The sense of powerlessness over your newly-discovered bodily functions is traumatic, to be sure. It makes you grasp for the advice of whatever snake oil salesman comes to the fore. In your case, it's a questionably-credentialed "Dr. Merton". In my day, it was Fritz P. Everywhere. The intense mortification you feel will probably not be lessened by assurances, but try to be calm and realize that we all go through these trials and that they seem tiny later in life.

Regrettably, I was not able to assist you in a timely manner. I was off on holiday visiting tropical Chicago. I assure you, your supervisor did not mind being handed a micturated-upon document. If this person has any compassion, he or she will fondly remember the days of incontinence and also remember that urine is a sterile substance. If this person has a problem with it, he or she was going to be set off by even the smallest of faux pas (like vomiting in the copy machine, pushing a goat down the stairs, or eating a web server). There was nothing you could do to avoid your supervisor's misplaced wrath.

I wish you all the best, and I hope that this helps others in your situation.
Bradhoc

Reader(s): send me more of your questions! No problem is too small or large. I'll tackle every issue from nuclear proliferation to fart proliferation.